21 signs you’ve been in India too long



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1. If your spoon doesn’t stand by itself in your chai, you need more sugar.

2. You’ve perfected the Indian head wobble in a way that you can even confuse shop owners. Wait, do you want to buy that now or not? *Wobble wobble*

3. City names like Thiruvananthapuram roll easily off your tongue.

4. It’s completely normal for you that at least 5 people are involved in every buying process. One to move it to the next one, one to scan the price, one to take your money, one to give you the bag and one to hand you the receipt.

5. Letting your hair fly while sticking your head out of the train’s open door in Mumbai is your daily dose of freedom.

6. Nothing can intimidate your stomach anymore. Not even the Burmese noodles prepared literally by hand by a cook in a dirty, greasy thorn undershirt, his huge belly hanging over his belt enjoying the fresh air. What is this crunchy stuff? Ah…never mind.

7. The probability of you getting seriously injured by a coconut falling on your head has increased significantly.

8. You have developed an unreasonably strong faith in not being killed while crossing the street. Or sitting in a rickshaw. Or participating in traffic in any way.

9. After millions of coconut trees you are yearning for a proper conifer forest.

10. You know the address of all Bollywood celebrities in Mumbai by heart. And if the rickshaw driver wants to take you in unnecessary circles on the way to Shahrukh Khan’s house, you see right through it.

11. You understand Bollywood movies in cinemas without even speaking a word Hindi.

12. The cacophony of engines and horns on the streets has turned into a beautiful symphony reflecting the rhythm of Indian life.

13. Kurti, sari, lehengas. You don’t only know what it is, you also own at least one of each.

14. Just 32° C today? Better get a jacket, you might get cold.

15. Nobody needs to translate the menu anymore. Mutter masala, butter masala, you know exactly what you’ll get.

16. Slowly but surely a deep friendship with the bum gun is blossoming, especially while suffering from smaller or also more intense digestive problems.

17. You always keep an extra melon or a few bananas, just in case the neighborhood temple elephant knocks on the door for a hungry morning visit.

18. You understand that chaos is the only way the world was meant to function.

19. A bus passing by 2cm next to you is everyday life and not a near death experience anymore.

20. What once seemed an impossible task, is now a piece of cake. You could probably even eat soup with your fingers.

21. You’ve irrevocably lost a piece of yourself in this country which slowly but relentlessly snuck into your heart.


How to Prevent a Kidney Infection

Preventing a kidney infection is really all about preventing urinary tract infections and getting prompt treatment if you ever get one. Sorry, but don’t rely on cranberry juice or supplements for this—the science is far too mixed to consider either of these a definitive UTI-prevention method. Instead, whenever you feel a bladder infection coming on, make it a habit to drink enough water every day to stay hydrated. That will ensure you’re peeing often enough to help flush out bacteria that could lead to an infection. The NIDDK recommends peeing as often as you get the urge, but definitely at least every three to four hours, since urine hanging out in your bladder for too long may help bacteria to grow, the organization says.

Kaufman also stresses the importance of “urinating like a fire hose” after sex. It might even be helpful to skip peeing before sex as long as that doesn’t make you uncomfortable, he says. This allows you to build up a forceful stream that may better help remove any bacteria that might have been pushed up there during sex.

Also, we referenced this above, but it’s important to reiterate: After you pee (or poop, for that matter), you should be sure to wipe from front to back, as wiping back to front can spread harmful bacteria from your rectum to your urethra, where it can cause an infection.

Above all, don’t try to self-treat a UTI. “You’ll just make it worse and put yourself at a greater risk of a kidney infection,” Kaufman says. If you have any bladder or kidney infection symptoms, that’s a clear sign it’s time to seek treatment.


21 Ways To Leave A Never-Ending Conversation Without Being Rude

How many times have you had an awesome conversation that’s gone on just a little too long?

You know what I’m talking about. There’s a point in the conversation when everyone knows it’s time to wrap it up, but somehow, the discussion keeps trailing on. (Or, worse, when the other person’s still going strong and you’ve been looking at your watch for five minutes now.)

Great news! You can now stop talking at the ideal moment, all thanks to these 21 lines that will end things on a good note—and on time.

On The Phone

    “I’ve got another call in a couple minutes, thanks so much for speaking with me, and I’ll talk to you again [soon/in X days].”

  • “My battery’s pretty low, so I’m going to hop off. Have an amazing day!”
  • “It sounds like we’ve covered everything we needed to, so I’ll let you go. Thank you for such a productive meeting!”
  • “Can’t believe it’s already [time of day]. I’m sure you’ve got lots of things on your agenda, so I’ll let you get to them. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.”

    At A Networking Event

    1. “Please excuse me, I’m going to make a quick restroom trip. It was lovely to meet you!”
    2. “I’ve had such a nice time talking to you. And I’ll definitely connect with you on LinkedIn so I can keep up with all of your cool ventures. In the meantime, I’m going to go [grab some hors d’oeuvres/say hi to a friend/go to the next panel].”
    3. “I’m sorry to leave so quickly, but it’s been a pleasure and I hope we can reconnect soon. Do you have a business card?”
    4. “I’m going to mingle a bit more, but before I go, can I introduce you to someone? [Introduce them to each other.] I’ll let you guys talk!”

    In The Office

    1. “I’ve got to head back to my desk and work on [X project]. Let’s catch up at happy hour!”
    2. “I know you’ve got a crazy schedule, so I’ll let you get back to it.”
    3. “I’d love to hear about your [work/side gig/current initiative] when we’ve got more time, so let’s plan lunch!”
    4. “There are a couple emails I have to send before [time], so I’m going to have to excuse myself.”

    At the End Of A Meeting

    1. “Looks like we’ve hit everything on the agenda. If no one has anything else to discuss, see you all at next week’s meeting.”
    2. “There’s another meeting in this conference room right after us, so we should probably clear out and let the next guys in.”
    3. “Great to see we finished 15 minutes early! Going to go knock out some quick emails.”
    4. “[Person], are you walking back to your desk? I’ll walk with you.”
    5. “Thanks, everyone, for a productive meeting! I can send around our notes later this afternoon.”

    On A Video Call

    1. “I really appreciate you taking the time to speak with me. Have a fantastic rest of your day, and I’ll look for your [email/notes/report/follow-up].”
    2. “Your ideas sound really promising, can’t wait to see them in action. In the meantime, you’ve probably got a lot on your plate, so I’ll let you get back to work.”
    3. “I want to get you the answers to your questions as soon as possible, so I’m going to get off now—look for my email by the end of the [day/week].”
    4. “Wow, I can’t believe it’s already [time]. Do you mind if I hang up and finish up my to-do list?”

    With these polite but firm ways of saying goodbye, you’ll never be stuck in “conversation purgatory” again. And I can almost promise you that the person on the receiving end will be thankful (or at least not offended).

    This article was originally published on The Daily Muse .

    Aja Frost is a freelance writer who covers career, lifestyle, current events, and social justice. Say hi to her on Twitter.

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    'You have to get ugly runs': Laxman's expert guide to batting in India

    The former India batsman gives his unique insight into the technique and mindset required for success on turning pitches

    England’s Jonny Bairstow is bowled by Axar Patel on day two of the third Test. Photograph: Pankaj Nangia/BCCI

    England’s Jonny Bairstow is bowled by Axar Patel on day two of the third Test. Photograph: Pankaj Nangia/BCCI

    Last modified on Sun 28 Feb 2021 14.14 GMT

    O ne of the great sights in cricket was to see Shane Warne in his follow through with his hands on his hips, shaking his head in disbelief. Two identically pitched deliveries had just gone for four. The first, inside out, through cover, the second, whipped through midwicket. The batsman was VVS Laxman.

    Not everyone can play spin like Laxman, but you can certainly learn from him. “There is no doubt it’s possible to score on these pitches. You have to have the right mix of technique and mindset,” Laxman tells the Observer.

    “You have to have belief in your defence. If you don’t, your mind is restless, shot selection becomes problematic, decision-making translates into poor footwork, into reaching towards the ball, picking the length wrongly, and that will lead to your dismissal. You will look out of place batting on these surfaces.”

    So what does this defence entail? After all, batsmen have not necessarily got out swinging for the fences in this series. “Defence doesn’t mean just taking a long stride forward. Defence is where you’re transferring your body weight, and your stride is just so long that you can get bat in front of pad,” Laxman explains.

    “If the stride is too long, the bat is behind pad and you’re giving a chance for lbw and [a] catch close in. Once you get the stride right and the body weight is transferring forward, you will automatically play with soft hands. Even if you’re beaten by the bounce at the last moment, you can adjust. Your bat and hand position should be such that, at the last moment, you can drop your wrists or take your bat up and leave the ball. Once you take a long stride, you’re locked.”

    But defence, while non-negotiable, is only the beginning. “Once you’re comfortable with your defence, you play to save one edge, not both. On a turning track you always play for the ball that comes in. Your bat should be vertical and you look to play back to the bowler. More often than not you won’t get bowled because you’re covering the line of the delivery,” says Laxman.

    VVS Laxman celebrates a century against Australia in Sydney in 2004. Photograph: Hamish Blair/Getty Images

    “If the ball turns in a lot, it will go to square leg off the inside part of your bat. If it is turning away it will roll to point off the outside part of the bat. But because you’re playing with soft hands, very rarely will it carry to gully or slip.”

    With the building blocks in place, it is then time to take the game to the bowler. Laxman reveals how he did that: “It’s important not to allow the bowler to pitch the ball on the same length repeatedly. There are various ways to do that.

    “Because I never swept, there were two options: step down the wicket, or go right back and play late. Go back early and play late, after allowing the ball to finish doing whatever it is. That’s how I disrupted length. The bowler will think he is bowling too full or too short, adjust his length, and in the bargain I would get overpitched deliveries to drive or short balls to pull.”

    The kind of surface you are batting on and the bowler you are facing dictates the shots you play and the ones you put away. Laxman shows how he went about this process. “I rarely played an aerial shot. I used my feet and played along the ground. If I did play the aerial shot, it had to be a high percentage one,” he says.

    “On a turning track, hitting a left-arm spinner over extra cover is not high percentage, because you don’t know how much it is going to grip and how much it is going to bounce. The risk of a leading edge to point is high. The slog sweep, where you’re covering the bounce, is a smarter option. If you hit hard and connect cleanly, it will go over midwicket. If you edge, it will go over point.”

    As England’s batsmen are finding out, there is no single solution that works for everyone. And Laxman says a uniform approach is not even the right way. “You have to know your strengths, what your boundary shots are, and where you can rotate the strike. For me, against the left-arm spinner, my strike rotation options would be play with the turn, towards mid-off. Against Axar Patel or Jack Leach, even if I was using the depth of the crease I would not cut.

    India captain Virat Kohli hits a boundary in Ahmedabad. Photograph: Saikat Das/BCCI

    “Against quicker spinners, play with a vertical bat. If you set yourself up to play towards mid-off, even if the ball turns a bit more, you can play to cover. But if you try to play towards cover, as you do on a good wicket, and the ball comes in with the arm, there is no time to alter your shot.”

    When you have got the right technique and shot selection in place, it is time to plan your innings and get into the mental space to succeed on trying pitches. “Most importantly, on tough tracks, turners or seamers, you have to get ugly runs,” says Laxman, having never played an ugly shot in his life.

    “As a batsman, you will not have rhythm or flow. Even if you’re batting on 50 you will feel that you’re not in and you may not middle the ball. This is the challenge for England. It will take a lot of mental toughness to score runs. At the highest level, you’re talented, experienced, you’re a good batsman, and you feel that you should always dominate. When you dominate you will look good and you will look comfortable. On these pitches you will not look good. If you’re expecting to dominate, it will not happen and play into the hands of the bowler.

    “You shouldn’t be thinking about a 50, just about giving each ball maximum focus. And [when] suddenly you’ve reached 30, and you build a partnership, that will create desperation in the minds of the opposition captain and spin bowlers, because they are expected to take wickets.”

    At the moment, with India 2-1 up in the series, the desperation is only in the England camp. The third Test may have finished inside two days but even in that short period, England were a distinct second-best in how they played spin and bowled it. The edge that India had in terms of the knowledge and ability to deal with and dish out spin is obvious when you hear how simple Laxman makes it all sound.


  • Watch the video: SINGLE AND ALONE FOR WAY TOO LONG? 10 Signs You Have Been Single For Too Long And Must Start Dating


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